I'm soo funnehhhhh.

Honestly, 

There are things...that I think about...when I'm at work. That would probably be frowned upon if I said them out loud. Mainly, because I'm around children and they wouldn't get my jokes. And At this point...you...my audience gets me. I don't have a filter. I'm actually kind of funny..right?! Right? Am I right or am I right?! And well...sometimes my jokes...aren't so funny. But hey! Imma keep my day job. And you get the privilege of laughing or just shaking your head. I ain't got no shame! No body got time for that ! So here it goes. 

This child was throwing his head back sipping on his juice this one day. And every two seconds the child would drop it or some other child would drop their sippy cups. And I almost said it out loud. "I remember my first beer!" But...I realized how inappropriate that would be. 

I was changing diapers today. Almost. Almost. Every child had diarrhea, or poop leaking out of their diaper. And I don't have a weak stomach. But I few times I thought, " what the hell are they feeding you?" and, "oh ya, you were here all day." but then, "SHIT SON YOU SMELLLLLLL!". I mean, in those situations you just gotta push forward. Oh man...I'm rotten today.hahaha. Ya, I laugh at my own jokes. To get through that. I just sung nursery songs to distract the children im changing from crying. And pretended I was on the beach somewhere. Strumming my guitar, cold beer, and bitchen sunglasses. Just jamming. Then reality set in. That was shitty. 

It's true when they say that kids come up with the funniest things to say. They either over heard it from their parents, classmates, friends, family, TV, or anywhere really. Kids soak up so much into their brains. I wouldn't be surprised if they were all really...baby genius aliens. Somehow. Anyways! What doesn't really compute all to well...is sarcasm. And I can be funny sarcastic. So this one child was talking, talking, talking, and going on and on about something. And I was really trying to listen and hear her out. I just got to a point...where...I was like...

"OH MY GOD!" with heavy enthusiasm. "That is soooooo funny!" I come out sarcastic. And crack as smile. The child raises an eyebrow and says:

"But ...I didn't say anything funny." I stared at her. She stared at me. "Miss...were you listening?" Damn she caught me. She lost me 5 minutes into her story. Something about..."anyways we found my doggy." She squeezes it under her arm. And then walks off. The other teacher was watching and giggles a little. I then think:

"She will do great things." Laughed remembering the line from "She's the Man." and the other kids looked at me like I'm crazy.

The time I tried to teach some kids "Gangam style" dance. Lost them ten minutes into it. One child started humping the air and I thought to myself. "Latinos." 

That's all I got for ya. I'm sure there will be future posts. But...for now. I got John Mayer in my ear, whispering me sweet nothings, and telling me to shut my eyes only for a moment. To sleep. CAUSE I'M FREEEE.......FREEEE FALLLLIIIINNN.