sittin in bed

Honestly,

sitting in bed all day isn't as depressing as it sounds. 

Well, I'm in bed for a reason. I'm nursing a cold. But it's the fact that I don't mind being at home alone all day. 

The house is quiet except for Mumford and Sons playing through itunes on my computer.

My dog, Baxter, is curled up at the end of my bed, on my feet, keeping them warm. 

My room is my lair. Posters on the walls, doors, and pictures from the past. It's nice in here, not too hot, not too cold. But cold enough to want to snuggle my pillow under my blankets and not want to leave. I have water and kleenex placed strategically beside me, just in case. And it's cozy in here. Only my reading lamp is on. It's not too dark and not too bright in here. 

I used to think that being alone was a negative connotation. And it still has one. But today I look at it in a different light. 

Ever since I started going to the movies alone, on some occasions, or staying in on a saturday night and dancing in my room. Or practicing my guitar skills, perched up top my bed. I started to think that being alone isn't so bad. 

We think being alone as feeling empty or with no company. That we need others to make/ keep us happy. Or have that void to fill or that angst to find happiness. I mean everyone feels this way. I used to feel this way. I used to be dependent on other people for happiness. 

But I look around my lonely room, and find it completely full. Memories, dreams, hopes, desires, warmth, adventure, happiness, success, and even my mom whom joins me for a heart to heart or even just a snuggle. And all I can feel is a past, present, and future. I feel complete. 

I'm single. And I used to hate saying that. I thought in high school that I wasn't pretty enough or guys wouldn't like me the way they stared at the other girls. I hated walking around the halls alone like a weirdo. But i realized i'm not the only single person on this earth. That i'm beautiful. That those girls aren't me and comparing myself to them only brought me down. I started to love being free and walking around being the weirdo I am. I don't think being a weirdo is bad at all. Cause normal is boring. 

So being alone is also an attitude. A good attitude. A positive outlook on life. One i didnt have in high school. But from experiences that lead me to here. In my bed. Mumford and sons. Sick. alone. loved. happy. Is all I could ask for. 

So if I have to be alone...for a long time...or a short time. It doesn't matter cause I'm happy either way.