From the start I have never been a long distance relationship type of girl. And the fact that I got involved with a chatting site really pulls that statement in different directions. Mainly because I met my first two relationships on this chatting site. And then I'd take that two hour drive or sometimes train ride to see them. For the right person I'd do just about anything. Wouldn't throw my hand on a grenade (ha ha ha) but you get it. To be clear, It wasn't like,"oh I like you let's be gf/bf right now." No, I took the time to meet them first, go on a few dates and then we changed our Facebook relationship status's. How cute.
The first relationship, he was and still is a chef at a restaurant in his town. We dated for five months and the fourth month I gave him my v card. I was 18. And it did hurt, a lot. And sex for the first time is not always the same for everyone. So don't think I'm telling you this to scare you, it's just the way it is. Anyways, I can tell you for a fact though, that your first love will hurt the most. You experience all or most of the firsts of everything with this person. You love truly, it's raw, new, exciting, and that it will last forever. Hey! for those who have been with their first love, married, kids, etc. That's awesome! I mean that deeply. But for the rest of us, it just doesn't work out that way.
When I was 18 I didn't pick up on things quite the same way as I do now. Firstly, he was six months out of a four year relationship, where he was convinced she was the one, until she cheated on him with one of his best friends. Not only did they have a dog they lived with each other. I didn't really care. he said he was seeing people in that time frame, so I was like, "okaaaaay." Now. This is a huge huge signal. And I thought his happiness was because he was with me. When in actuality he wasn't fully over her and I did help him. But when I cured him of his depression he no longer needed me anymore. He was ready to go out and really move on. So he sent me an email detailing this and breaking up with me. And he added that he will be ignoring me for awhile to avoid talking about it, or hurt words. Not that I listened. I sent him a few messages here and there. I sent him a couple emails. But what he doesn't know is I wrote him letters, every single day, until I was sure I was over him. ( I still do this with every guy I've ever been in a relationship with, sexual or not).
Two weeks ago his facebook status changed. And i deleted him off facebook. Believe me. I am completely over him. But when any ex changes their status, you get a little, ping in the heart.
My second relationship ended before it could really start. We were best friends, even while I was dating my first. And silly old me, blind, and in denial. Grabbed him five months of being single. I remember this so vividly because i was planning on seeing the chef for his birthday. To this day I haven't made it to my crushes/ boyfriends birthday. And I still don't understand why. Anyways, the comedian( my second bf) ended not too long after that. And to this day we make small chat. But it will never be like it was in the beginning. He's moving on and up in the world. And so am I. Oh he's still hilarious. And has manic chronic clinic depression and bi polar disorder. Which explains lots but now that he's medicated, he's happy. I think.
Now you see it was never the long distance that I disliked. And since then and every little thing in the middle. I've made a rough list of what my dream guy would be. Since I'm oh so giving and loving today I'll broadcast it for you. It may give you a chuckle cause it's so telling of my past relationships. Maybe it's just me? Ya...just me.
-Has a car and drivers license
- Clean criminal record ( speeding tickets don't count)
- Can make me laugh even if they aren't really funny. (i'm easily amused)
- Tall ( please and thank you).
- Nice smile.
- Honest.
- In a career field that he is happy in.
- Great taste in music ( or can sing).
- Loves to travel
- Can speak more then one language.
- Can cook ( even if it's ordering a pizza).
- Family man.
- Likes to have a good time ( even if i'm not around).
- doesn't smother me.
- wants kids
- works out or is active.
- can use what he was born with ;)
- intelligent. determined. confident.
- Lives close ( or determined to go to extraordinary measures to be with me).
Shit moms home for work. Gotta put the rice on. SHIT SHIT SHIT !
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