For the future

Honestly,

I should be writing my resume. I'm ending a chapter of being a nanny and entering into the full time five days a week chapter. In ontario they have the full day learning program for kindergarden class rooms. It's still a new program, which means it will be competitive for getting a position. Even for getting your name on the supply list, which there is a waiting list for as well. And right now getting any kind of teaching job is a long process. Trust me, I know. My parents are up my ass about it every single day. Which, they should be. I'm procrastinating hard core here. It's an exciting and scary process. This growing up thing.

When I think about my future all the doors are open. I am capable of so much and I have so much to offer. I could have went to teachers college. That way I could be a teacher anywhere. And I know it's not too late to go to teachers college. But at the time of making the decision, I was so wrapped up in writing and making my voice known. And the new program started up. That I thought I could work in daycare and write on the side. I still believe I could. So why waste more of my parents money? Or mine? And it's not like I'm trying to do the bare minimum. It's not about any salary or material positions. It's that I knew then what would make me happy and that hasn't changed. Working with children and writing just go hand in hand. They are the perfect partnership in crime. 

At the same time it's scary. And I don't say this with the fear of rejection because I anticipate some doors to close. I'm just afraid to change. And here I was whining about my past boyfriends. I'm still getting over the taste of my own medicine. it's bitter. I guess this is a big step. And although I'm excited about moving out (eventually). There's responsibilities that come with it. Call me spoiled, but I'll always love my moms cooking. I'll miss all the luxuries of living under their roof. But not so much all the firm rules. ( as if my brother and I haven't gotten away with most of them) 

Ya, you're right. Back to the future.