For my benefit.

There was a time, not too long ago, where I could start a sentence, love it, and end up with a novel. The moment when I realized I was out of awesome ideas, was also when I realized my approach was completely wrong.

An ex boyfriend of mine told me that when I'm in a room of people,I like to be the center of attention, talk to everyone, and be everywhere at the same time. And I have to admit that he was correct. So why not commit to a raw, unedited, honest blog and have people read it? While I, for the first time, accomplish letting people in without boundaries (caring). 

Honestly, 

I can really dance.

So, when I was little i'd get my make up done by my mom, hair gelled back, tights, leotard, and all. Ballet. Jazz. Tap. And my final victim of choice, Arrhythmic Gymnastics. You know, with the ball and ribbon. When I got older I moved onto sports. But dance will always be in my heart.

The ex boyfriend that I mentioned above, his theory is still standing. Picture a twenty something girl, up on a stage, working it, sweating, and not giving a flying fuck. You see, the advantages of being up above everyone is that they get to see you and you get to see them. And that girl. Is sooooo me. I scan for cute boys and cute boys scan me. Win-win, i'd say. 

When I dance, there is like a force field around me, no one can take me on, no one can shove me down, and i'm on every single sober high there is. The moment the beat drops and your feet decide to follow it until they hurt. The moment when your body moves and your lips scream the words cause you can. Is ah-mazing. Music heals. Music moves you. Music just feels good. It's an expression and reflection of you. When you just get a song. And it gets you. That bond is imprinted like mother to daughter. The end. 

Something, interesting happened. People noticed. People commented. Dance battled me(I didn't always win). Cheered me on. And I assumed that the booze blinded their vision...at first. So daring me, I decided to see what everyone was talking about.

I hit record.

Panting for air after giving it all I got, I sat in front of my computer and forced myself to watch what I did. And I liked what I did. What mattered is that I did it for myself. For my benefit. 

I hit upload.